How to Write an Essay: Revise for Style

Use exact wording:

• Make sure you have referred to people, places, and objects by the appropriate terms, e.g.:

The guy behind the counter → The clerk

• Look for vague words and replace them with more specific terms, e.g.:

Good may be useful, effective, profitable, virtuous, etc.

Big may be forty feet wide, as heavy as a bowling ball, the size of a garbage truck, etc.

Check pronouns and modifiers:

• Make sure every pronoun refers to a specific noun, e.g.:

At the hospital they x-rayed my wrist → At the hospital, a radiology technician x-rayed my wrist

• Make sure every modifier is placed next to the word it describes, e.g.:

Drifting down the river in a canoe, the full moon appeared on the horizon → Drifting down the river in a canoe, we watched the full moon appear on the horizon

Reduce wordiness

• Avoid using “There is” or “There are” at the beginning of a sentence, e.g.:

There are two trucks in the yard → Two trucks are in the yard

• Combine sentences, e.g.:

Marriage in the Middle Ages was not romantic. It was usually economic. It was often political. →

Marriage in the Middle Ages was usually economic and often political but seldom romantic.

• Rewrite passive constructions to make them active, e.g.:

The cake was baked by a professional → A professional baked the cake

• Use vivid verbs in place of verb-adverb or verb/prepositional phrase constructions, e.g.:

"Get out!" he said loudly in a high pitched voice → "Get out!" he shrieked

• Omit meaningless introductory phrases, such as In today's modern world and Needless to say
• Use simple modifiers in place of “who,” “that,” or “which” clauses when possible:

The woman who was standing on the corner → The woman standing on the corner 

Vary sentence length and style

• Use a combination of long and short sentences
• Add introductory phrases or dependent clauses to short, simple sentences
• Use series of verbs, phrases, or clauses
• Ask rhetorical questions

Make sure most body paragraphs begin with a transition

• Use transitions like however, in addition, on the other hand
• Use idea hooks that connect the topic of the paragraph to the previous paragraph or the thesis statement
• Repeat some wording from the last sentence of the previous paragraph 

Make sure every sentence in each body paragraph ties in with the topic sentence

• Use transitions or explanatory material to show how some ideas fit the paragraph focus
• Move important Ideas that don't fit the paragraph focus to a new paragraph
• Omit less important ideas or use subordination to de-emphasize them